The Healing Process

8 Nov

As you may have noticed by my last post (sometime in August), my blogging came to a screeching halt after losing a cherished loved one so suddenly in July. These past few months I’ve been concentrating on mourning a devastating loss, starting the healing process, and trying to be as supportive and loving as I can to my partner as he deals with the loss of a parent.

It’s funny – a lot of people have said to me that “every day gets better.” But in fact, I’ve learned that it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

From what I’ve been experiencing, the process of loss and healing is more like a roller coaster. It takes you up and down and spins you around so you don’t know which way is up. It scares and confuses you. Every day is indeed different, but not necessarily better, although not always worse. Instead of adrenaline, it’s questions and “what-ifs” that pulse through your veins. Sometimes you get accustomed to it to the point of numbness, which makes the moment of jagged and painful clarity that much harder.

Quail's Gate Winery

I've been using photography as a way of reflecting and healing. I took this photo when I was at lunch with a dear friend at Quail's Gate Winery.

I’m learning that it’s important to focus on the life lived and the love shared between you and a dearly departed loved one.

And I realize that I need to take care of myself in the process. Since the loss, I have worked hard to stay socially engaged – my amazing friends have been such a blessing in this hard time. I continued to pursue my activities – dragonboating, softball, choir.

But the one thing I’ve had a harder time picking up is my blog, for a variety of reasons. But mainly, I think it’s because I’ve continued to make all of my favourite (and my boyfriend’s favourite) comfort foods, most of which are already featured in this blog.

But I’m going to start experimenting again, as I’ve learned delicately crafted dishes and the process of cooking can be equally cathartic and therapeutic.

In fact, this week I’m going to try a first – roasting a chicken. I know it sounds basic, but I’ve always had a funny aversion to meat bones. I never even liked chicken wings for this reason! This is especially crazy for someone who calls herself a food blogger, I know! So this week, I’ll be cooking up a bird all by myself and I’m crossing my fingers it turns out delicious.. and fully cooked!

At this point, I will be taking suggestions for recipes!

And I want to say thank you to all of you who have commented or sent me notes over these past few months – that really means a lot to me. So this is me, giving you, a warm, heartfelt, albeit virtual, hug. Thank you.


5 Responses to “The Healing Process”

  1. sarahjam November 8, 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    Yay! Back to the blog!!

  2. InTolerantChef November 8, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    Rub the chicken with lemon zest and garlic and roast on a bed of chunky cut potatoes, lemon wedges, some sticks of rosemary and lots of unpeeled garlic splashed with oil and salt. The lemon goes sort of jammy and yummy, and the potatoes are chickeny but not crispy, just delicious!
    Cooking is the best way to get grounded and focus your attention on something new. Good luck.

  3. Alli November 9, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    Who’s going to share your chicken?? Hmmmm I might know a few suggestions!!

    Oh and you should make triffle. mmmmmmm good.

    • MB - The Lazy GF Chef November 9, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

      This chicken will be a practice run (since Mike’s not going to be home till late tonight), but next one, I’ll have you all over!

  4. Lisa November 9, 2010 at 3:02 pm #

    Yeah – glad you are back at it! The world needs more MaryBeth in it 😉 Enjoy.

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