Talking Twitter with Mike & Friends

21 Jul

Note: This has nothing to do with gluten free living, but I just had to publish this conversation!

Tyler (our friend): Oh, so you’re one of those Facebook types?

Mike (my boyfriend): “Oh, she doesn’t Facebook — she T-W-E-E-T-S — tweets!”

Tyler: “Well you know, the only difference between Facebook and Twitter is that on Twitter, you use shitty grammar.”

Mike: “Twitter exists so people can tell you when they’re taking a s*** or when they’re at 7/11.”

Tyler: “You use bad grammar, you talk about taking a s*** and you don’t even make money. That’s what Twitter is.” (He adds) “And how can anyone “tweet” and still feel masculine?!”

[Me, furiously writing down these anecdotes on paper.]

Tyler: “I think we’re doing this wrong. You don’t tweet on paper. Who do we mail this to? How does it get online?”

Mike [points at his index finger]: “I don’t tweet with this finger. I use it as a diagnostic tool. If I couldn’t perform rectal exams, I couldn’t be a doctor. This baby is insured!”

[Tyler takes my pen from my hand.]

Tyler: “I have your pen. Where’s your social media now?!”

And that my friends, is the last time I will ever try to explain Twitter to this pair!

PRE-AMBLE:

On Saturday, my boyfriend Mike & I had some friends over to hang out. Several beers and a few bottles of wine later, Mike brought up a recurring conversation we had been having on the purpose of Twitter. You should know that Mike is a rare species — he is extremely digitally archaic. In fact, he gives people my email address because he only checks his email account one to two times a year. (Then of course, he is annoyed that he misses important notices and events and wonders why people can’t call him about the important stuff.)

So I no longer bother trying to explain to him the purpose and importance of social media in my job — marketing — and in business. Although lately he seems to bring it up a lot. So, let me give you a peek into the conversation that went down on “the purpose of Twitter.”

On Saturday, my boyfriend Mike & I had some friends over to hang out. Several beers and a few bottles of wine later, Mike brought up a recurring conversation we had been having on the purpose of Twitter. You should know that Mike is a rare species – he is extremely digitally archaic. In fact, he gives people my email address because he only checks his email account one to two times a year. (Then of course, he is annoyed that he misses important notices and events and wonders why people can’t call him about the important stuff.)

So I no longer bother trying to explain to him the purpose and importance of social media in my job – marketing – and in business. Although lately he seems to bring it up a lot. So, let me give you a peek into the conversation that went down on “the purpose of Twitter” (I omitted my side of the conversation):

Tyler (our friend): Oh, so you’re one of those Facebook types.

Mike [pointing at me]: “Oh, she doesn’t Facebook – she T-W-E-E-T-S – tweets!”

Tyler: “Well you know, the only difference between Facebook and Twitter is that on Twitter, you use shitty grammar.”

Mike: “Twitter exists so people can tell you when they’re taking a s*** or when they’re at 7/11.”

Tyler: “You use bad grammar, you talk about taking a s*** and you don’t even make money. That’s what Twitter is.”

[This conversation is making me sick. Really. Or I just have heartburn. I go to get some Gaviscon.]

Mike: “Twitter this – ‘Gaviscon is pre-chewed by midgets. I drink it. Therefore, I’m a midget.’”

[Me, furiously writing down these anecdotes on paper.]

Tyler: “I think we’re doing this wrong. You don’t tweet on paper. Who do we mail this to? How does it get online?”

Mike [points at his index finger]: “I don’t tweet with this finger. I use it as a diagnostic tool. If I could perform rectal exams, I couldn’t be a doctor. This baby is insured!”

[Tyler takes my pen from my hand.]

Tyler: “I have your pen. Where’s your social media now?!”

And that my friends, is the last time I will ever try to explain Twitter to this pair!

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2 Responses to “Talking Twitter with Mike & Friends”

  1. sarahjam July 21, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    LOL. This conversation is gold! Thanks for posting 🙂

  2. MB - The Lazy GF Chef July 21, 2010 at 3:53 pm #

    Wow Sarah – you are fast!!

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